This refers to an extremely important practice. As the great master Shantideva said, Enlightenment will be ours when we are able to care for others as much as we now care for ourselves, and ignore ourselves to the same extent that we now ignore others. Even if we had to remain in samsara, we should be free from sorrow. For as I have said, when the great Bodhisattvas gave away their heads and limbs, they felt no sadness at the loss of them.

For those who can practice generosity like this, there is no suffering at all. Enlightened teachers, Bodhisattvas, come into the world to accomplish the welfare of beings and even when they are ignored by people in the grip of desire, anger and ignorance, who stir up obstacles and difficulties, the thought of giving up never occurs to them and they are totally without anger or resentment.

Now, when training in giving away your happiness to others, it is unwise to try to give to all beings right from the start. For beings are countless and your meditation will not be stable, with the result that you will derive no benefit from the practice. Therefore, visualize in front of you a specific person, someone whom you love - your mother, for example. Reflect that when you were very little, she suffered while she carried you in her womb; she was unable to work or eat comfortably, unable to even stand up or sit down without difficulty. Yet all the time she loved and cared for you. You were not even strong enough to raise your head. Nevertheless your mother took you, this little thing which did not even know her, upon her lap to wash, clean and bring up lovingly. Later she put up with loss and disgrace on account of your misbehavior, her only preoccupation being how to keep you alive...

Thinking in terms not only of this but of countless lives, understanding that all beings have been your mothers and have cared for you just as your present mother has done. When your mother looks at you, she does not frown, but looks at you with loving eyes. Calling you her dear child, she has brought you up, protecting you from heat and cold and all the rest. In every way she has tried to bring about your happiness. Even if she could give you the kingdom of a universal ruler, she would still not be satisfied and would never think that she has given you enough. Your mother, therefore, is someone to whom you should have an endless gratitude. Therefore now, at this very moment, we should make a strong resolution to repay [our parent sentient beings'] kindness and work to dispel their suffering.

We should decide to take upon ourselves the suffering and the causes of suffering of all sentient beings (who have all in previous existences been our mothers), and at the same time to give away to them whatever causes of happiness that we have. And if it happens that, as we meditate upon their sufferings entering our hearts, we begin to suffer ourselves, we should think with joy that this is all for our mother's sake.

If we think continually in this way about our own parents, we will eventually be able to care for them more than for ourselves and likewise with regard to our brothers, sisters, friends and lovers. Then we should enlarge our outlook to include everyone in our city, then in our whole country. When we get used to that, we can try to encompass all beings. If we do this gradually, our attitude will increase in scope, our feelings will grow stable and constant, and our love become ever more intense. Starting thus with our mother and father, we should finally focus on all sentient beings, who for countless lives have cared for us just like our present parents. We should feel a deep gratitude towards them.

The thought of exchanging happiness and suffering wil

From Enlightened Courage, by Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche. Copyright 1993 by Editions Padmakara (Padmakara Translation Group). Published and distributed by Snow Lion Publications. Used by permission.