In order to have compassionate relationships, compassionate communication, and compassionate social action, there has to be a fundamental change in attitude. The notion "I am the helper and you are the one who needs help" might work in a temporary way, but fundamentally nothing changes because there's still one who has it and one who doesn't. That dualistic notion is not really speaking to the heart.
We could begin to get the hang of changing our attitude on an everyday level; when things are delightful and wonderful we give our pleasure away on the outbreath, sharing it for others.
When we work with pain by leaning into it and with pleasure by giving it away, it doesn't mean that we "Grin and bear it." This approach is a lot more playful than that - like dancing with it. We realize that this separateness we feel is a funny kind of mistake. We see that things were not dualistic from the start...
From Start Where You Are : A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron, Copyright 1994, Shambhala Publications.
Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston.
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