The Tibetan term for this technique is tonglen: 'giving and taking.' However, during the actual meditation practice, it is said that taking comes first, followed by giving. We must first accept all the miseries and impurities from sentient beings upon ourselves because only then will they be in a position to enjoy the happiness and merit that we give them as replacement. This is like first cleaning a dirty pot before placing food in it.

Prior to meditating in this way we must do a preliminary contemplation in which we reflect on the fact that during our countless previous lifetimes every sentient being has been a mother to us at least once. By remembering the kindness of pure mother love, we generate the deep heartfelt wish to repay the kindness that they, as our mothers, have shown us.

Then, when practicing giving and taking, we first generate from the depths of our heart the strong desire to accept all the sufferings of sentient beings on ourselves. Out of this motivation we visualize all their miseries in the form of dark fumes, like heavily polluted smoke, coming from every direction, absorbing into us, and striking the self-cherishing attitude at our heart. After this, we generate the wish to replace this suffering with all the happiness and merit that we have. Such a motivation or wish should be united with a prayer toward our refuge objects - the spiritual master, the Three Supreme Jewels, and our own meditational deity (yidam; ishtadevata) - for the accomplishment of all these practices. We give away our merit and happiness in the form of visualized radiant light blazing forth from our chest and all parts of our body. These rays illuminate all sentient beings and fulfill their every wish. We should repeat this many times in order to transform our thoughts effectively.

By utilizing inhalation and exhalation, the practice of giving and taking becomes easier. First, we inhale, breathing slowly and calmly, generating the motivation of accepting all the sufferings of others. They come in the form of dark fumes, which enter with the breath and dissolve into ourselves. Then, with the motivation of giving our own happiness and merit to others, we generate in ourselves pure white light, which we visualize as being exhaled through our nostrils. This radiant light spreads in all directions, giving happiness to every sentient being.

Sometimes we may have doubts and wonder what is the use of this practice and what are its results, for even though we visualize in this way, cows remain as cows, insects as insects, our happiness does not go anywhere, and the suffering of sentient beings is not alleviated: this practice does not appear to change anything.

However, the essential point is that giving and taking helps to develop and train our mind, and it is through mental development that we reach enlightenment. Whether such a practice helps directly or has any immediate effect on other beings is not the primary consideration. It is by a gradual process that we develop our mind until it is fully compassionate, powerful, and wise - until it is fully awakened. At that point we shall be able to realize our wish to help less fortunate beings.

Copyright Brian Beresford, 1977, 1996. Excerpted from Advice from a Spiritual Friend, with permission of Wisdom Publications, 199 Elm St., Somerville MA 02144 U.S.A, www.wisdompubs.org